#ICYMI

If you are a #sasstag reader, I assume you lead a really cool life. Which means that on the weekends, you are out of the house, doing fun and cultured things with your awesome friends. You don’t have time to stay updated on the happenings of Hollywood and/or the world between 5 PM on Friday and 9 AM on Monday. The easiest fix? Reading the new weekly In Case You Missed It post. Everything you need to have an opinion on before heading to the water cooler, every Monday morning. Enjoy!

Octomom is pulling a Lilo/Amanda Bynes and brining her grossness to NYC

Nadya Sulman, who is potentially the scummiest person on the face of the earth, was a guest at a drag show in New York City on Friday night. As any and every loyal #sasstag reader knows, Octomom has been whoring herself out in all sorts of ways and I do not like it. At the drag show, she played up her role as this weird person with lots of babies and held plastic dolls on stage. She then proceed to “feed” the babies vodka, and PLAYED A CLIP FROM HER PORN FILM. Because that is just what everyone needs in their life- seeing Nadya Sulman getting dirty on stage and on camera simultaneously. I feel dirty just thinking about being in the same city as this woman. She needs to get off the island of Manhattan ASAP or I will track her down myself and make her leave. Side note: WHERE ARE HER CHILDREN WHEN SHIT LIKE THIS GOES ON?????

Kim Kardashian. That is all.

Kimmie tweeted out this selfie to her fans while she was trying on Halloween costumes. She did not reveal her location with the Tweet, but I’m guessing she went into a Hustler store to pick up this bad boy. I know she is probably trying to be “sexy” and whatnot, but I think trashy is a much better way to describe this. This choice is low, even for a Kardashian. Also, I hate to bring this up (JK I love to!), but Halloween is the anniversary of when she filed for divorce from Kris Humphries, so that is pretty awkward for her. You would think she’d like to pretend this day doesn’t even exist, no???

Derek Jeter fractured his ankle at a very, very bad time

This is significant for several reasons. I am not going to list them here because I do not care about them, but everyone is talking about the fact that it happened so I felt it needed to be included in this post. Although I know there will be many angry and upset Yankees fans, I’m sure the entire world will get through this whole ordeal with much less pain than Jeter has to deal with, so lets just all keep that in perspective.

A skydiver plunged from space and broke the speed of sound. BOOM.

A 43-year-old Austrian man known as Fearless Felix put pretty much every daredevil in the world to shame when he survived his 24 mile jump, breaking the world record for highest jump AND breaking the sound barrier. Apparently, he had spent the last five years preparing for this moment. Not to be a Debbie Downer (even though that is totally what I am doing), but how anticlimactic is that? You spend five years preparing for this one thing that is over in a matter of minutes, and then what? Yeah, what he did was really amazing, and people will probably talk about it for about five more minutes, but then we will forget about him. Just being realistic here, you guys.

-S

#trendingtopics

Each week we take a look at what was trending on Twitter and provide some deep and meaningful insight. Or we just bitch about it.

October 6th-October 12th

  • Pokemon

When: 10/10

Why: PETA accuses Pokemon of promoting animal abuse

Shir: I say this as an outspoken animal lover and vegetarian: PETA, you need to shut the fuck up, now. Just because Lady Gaga hasn’t stepped out in a new meat dress or some fur ensemble, doesn’t mean you need to keep spewing shit from your mouth. It is OK to take a break sometimes, believe it or not.

Kara: PETA needs to slow their damn roll. They’ve really gone downhill since they stopped throwing paint on old ladies in fur coats. Are we classifying made up hybrid cartoon characters as actual animals now? Just for that, PETA, I’M HAVING STEAK ON STEAK ON STEAK FOR DINNER.

  • Game 4

When: 10/11

Why: Fourth game of the Yankees vs. Orioles playoff series

Shir: You would think that living in NYC would make me care about this in some way, but nope…not even close. I somehow found that watching Joe Biden and Paul Ryan was a lot more entertaining, and that says a lot.

Kara: They lost this one, right? GOOD. The only thing worse than Boston sports fans are New York sports fans and I say that now having lived in both cities. Maybe if these peeps didn’t actually believe their team was made up of invincible demigods they’d deal better with loss. It’s time to come back to Earth y’all.

  • Unapologetic

When: 10/11

Why: Rihanna releases the title and cover for her new album

Shir: Hey KB, is it too soon to start a public countdown for Rihanna’s show in May? That we already have tickets for? I think not. 203 days left to go!

Kara: LAJSDLFKJASLJFAK HEY GUYS I’M A LITTLE EXCITED ABOUT THIS! My best friend RiRi is coming out with a new album in November, haven’t ya huuurrd? (Just in time for my birthday, she’s such a sweetheart.) We might have to make this release date a #sasstag holiday.

  • #50ThingsAboutMyBoyfriend

When: 10/12

Why: Look up the word “dumb” in the dictionary and it’ll all be explained

Shir: Logistical issues I am having with this hashtag: 1) the people who started it certainly cannot have boyfriends, and 2) how could you possibly describe 50 things about someone in one tweet? You can’t. Which means these dumb bitches are sending out multiple tweets using this hashtag. Stupid stupid stupid. Unfollow. End of story.

Kara: I hate everyone who was involved in this in any way shape or form. If you participated in this hashtag and actually had a boyfriend, there’s no way you still do. I’ll help you make a new list for #50ThingsAboutMyBoyfriend: He’s not real, he doesn’t exist, he’s imaginary…

#yankees

Question: Is this the ugliest car you’ve ever seen?

(via New York Yankees)

Answer: Yes, I believe it is.

If you’re a glutton for punishment, you can win this monstrosity by entering the “Drive One Home” sweepstakes. Thank god they’re giving this shit away in a sweepstakes because I think even Yankees fans have more class than to pay actual money for this.

If you live in New York, you may have seen Derek Jeter pimping this Special Yankees Edition 2013 Ford Escape Titanium out on TV and pushing the lie that, ”everything looks good in pinstripes.” FALSE DEREK. FALSE. Like, Jesus hell this is truly and utterly atrocious.

I know it’s called the “Drive One Home” sweepstakes, but the only appropriate thing to do with this is ghostride it into the Hudson.

-K