#whotweetwhat

#whotweetwhat

 

#whotweetwhat

#tarareid

As many of you have probably gleaned by now, I have an inexplicable fascination with celebs who have had meltdowns, are currently having meltdowns, or are on the verge of having meltdowns. I am constantly struggling to surpress my urge to bring up Amanda Bynes during nice dinners out with my friends (sorry guys), and I can’t get enough of Lilo. Not news. But let me tell you about somebody who has sooo not been on my radar until she went ahead and pulled the celebrity card– Tara Reid. Yup, Tara Reid threw a hissy fit and pulled out the “do you know who I am?!” card when she didn’t get her way (a.k.a. a discount for her “fame”) while shopping. Apparently she needed some new digs for Coachella and expected a discount from the store she was shopping at because she “is a walking billboard for them.” Hahaha. Hahahahahaha.

Hearing about this confused me because I didn’t think it was possible for a human to be so delusional. Clearly Tara must know she is not actually a celebrity? This is somebody who has not mattered to the world in so long, it’s surprising she has a verified Twitter account. Speaking of Twitter and Tara Reid- remember that time she alerted the paps she was making her way to LAX? I’m sure this had just as much influence on TMZ photogs as it would if I tweeted it- a.k.a zero.

Screen Shot 2013-04-23 at 8.58.35 AM

Side note: she got the name of her “friend’s” band wrong– addicted, infected…it’s all the same to her.

Anyways, I’m not bringing this up out of nowhere. It’s just that we need to talk about the fact that celebrities must stop asking people if they know who they are. First we hear reports of Reese Witherspoon citing her celebrity status as a reason she might not need to comply with the law. Now this Tara Reid situation (much less disappointing but equally, if not more, annoying). The bottom line is, if you are a celebrity and we recognize you- you will probably know it (by we I mean any and all non-celebs that would be subjected to the “don’t you know who I am?!” card). If you feel like we don’t recognize you, we either a) know exactly who you are and don’t give a shit, or b) we genuinely don’t know who you are and certainly are not going to care once you inform us of your status. The bottom line is that this line should never be used. It is pathetic and makes you an even less popular celebrity than you were before you asked the question.

Maybe if Tara Reid had been walking around the store with her nipple showing, the salesperson would have recognized her and given her a discount. Just a tip for next time.

-S

#ryanlochte

Last night was the premiere of Ryan Lochte’s new reality show, “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?”

what would ryan lochte do

(via)

Did you watch? I did not watch because A) I already had a pretty idea of what I was in for B) Mad Men was on C) I don’t want to encourage or support E! and their abominable programming D) I wasn’t on drugs  E) I still have some value for my time F) … you get the picture  HOWEVER, while I may not have watched, there are plenty of people who did! “Who were these people subjecting themselves to this xx programming?” you ask. Well I’ve gone ahead and categorized them all nicely for you–with help from Twitter.

The Types of People Who Watched “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?”

 

People who set their hopes way too high:

https://twitter.com/NATTIJ/status/326359163301142528 https://twitter.com/RJM617/status/326322671526744064 https://twitter.com/SwimmerLaura/status/326318414752800769 https://twitter.com/sarahthegod/status/326359594727247872

 

People who need help

https://twitter.com/emiiilysanchez/status/326306342472151040

I’m willing to give her the benefit of the doubt that this is a typo…but that is me being very, very generous. 

https://twitter.com/peterp4n_/status/326329196467068928 https://twitter.com/chendricks1/status/326326884122128384 https://twitter.com/TaylorBGang/status/326324966717009920

 

“Awww but he’s so pretty” people

https://twitter.com/veeenusk/status/326327214171901952 https://twitter.com/MarAintShit/status/326326413026287616 https://twitter.com/brandi_withan_i/status/326326112730873857 https://twitter.com/JennaferN/status/326359492990205952 https://twitter.com/IrishAngelTraci/status/326302554545860608

 

People who think he is a douchebag

https://twitter.com/LaurenWoycke/status/326332421479997440 https://twitter.com/CliftonJacob/status/326331924656312320 https://twitter.com/tracykearn/status/326329862124097536 https://twitter.com/ewriight/status/326342622635503616 https://twitter.com/nava_anthony/status/326200123333959681

 

People who need better lives

https://twitter.com/DanielleClark97/status/326206681165987840 https://twitter.com/SusanHeuscher/status/326206258984128515

GET YO LIFE BITCHES

 

People I’m side-eying

https://twitter.com/DopeKultRj/status/326319822021459971 https://twitter.com/CraZy_KAY14/status/326359138907062275 https://twitter.com/Misslacielynne/status/326220594561548288 https://twitter.com/ohDANGitsALVINA/status/326204404946579458

DO NOT DO THIS ALVINA

https://twitter.com/MeredithRayburn/status/326201449098911745

 

I’m going to go pull my eyebrows out now. Good day.

-K

#ICYMI

If you are a #sasstag reader, I assume you lead a really cool life. Which means that on the weekends, you are out of the house, doing fun and cultured things with your awesome friends. You don’t have time to stay updated on the happenings of Hollywood and/or the world between 5 PM on Friday and 9 AM on Monday. The easiest fix? Reading our weekly In Case You Missed It post- the most important pop culture news roundup out there. Everything you need to have an opinion on before heading to the water cooler, every Monday morning. Enjoy!

Reese Witherspoon was arrested for disorderly conduct

Don’t worry, I thought the headline was fake, too. This is not what I like to see when I search for pop culture news. My heart is broken. America’s heart is broken. Reese and her husband, Jim Toth, were both arrested on Friday morning because Jim was driving drunk and Reese was having none of this “cops doing their job” business. I’d like to believe she was just trying to be sassy, but no…she was just being stuck up and pulled the “do you know who I am?!” line. I wonder if Elle Woods will represent them in court?

Selena and Justin are becoming that on-again, off-again couple

It’s been a while since we’ve seen these two together, but Selena went out to Norway to see Justin’s show this weekend…so they may be back together. Which, even though this has no direct effect on my life, I would be very happy to see. Boy neeeeeds some stability in his life. JB posted a photo of the two of them on Instagram but quickly deleted it because he is a teenager and everything.

LeAnn Rimes gets caught buying Twitter followers

The singer/songwriter/homewrecker (a.k.a the original triple threat) made a sudden jump of about 50,000 followers in a 24 hour period, so people picked up on her not so slick attempt at being popular. Go home, LeAnn. #teambrandi

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries have reached a divorce settlement

Thank the reality-star gods that be. It’s too much to keep track of this and her pregnancy. Unfortunately for Kris, he will not be getting a dime for being married to Kimbo and for having his name forever associated with hers. Short. End. Of. The. Stick.

-S