I am quite skeptical of any competitive reality TV show that has the word “Celebrity” at the beginning of its title. You should be too. Obviously they do not feature actual celebrities, which is what I call a waste of time– give me real celebrities or give me death. This is why I have a hard time imagining why a show like Celebrity Apprentice even exists.1 And not only does it exist, it has had enough seasons that they now have an All-Star version of the show. Because obviously anybody who is enough of a fame whore to agree to be on Donald Trump’s show once will do it again.

The most severe case of this is Bret Michaels, who was just “fired” by Trump on his show, after winning the show the previous time he appeared on it. Not only was he the first to go, he allegedly had a complete meltdown on his way out.

This man:


was in tears over being fired and told off by one of the only men in America with a more ridiculous appearance than his own. Apparently he was truly inconsolable over being axed from the show, because he believed he was going to win a second time. Donald said to him that “Deep down psychologically it is awfully hard for me to pick you again as a winner. That is why it was incredulous to me that you came back.” I don’t know much about Bret Michaels, nor do I care to, but for the record…if someone looking like this

told me I didn’t have to work for them anymore, the only tears coming out of my eyes would be purely due to elation and being generally overjoyed.

Why are people- both television producers and faux celebs- giving Donald Trump more airtime than he already gets every time he is interviewed for something?