#newyorkers

It sounds crazy, but New York City is filled with some pretty cool people other than us. That is why we started our New Yorker of the Week series where we convince some really awesome New Yorkers to answer a bunch of our silly questions.

Say haaay to Mia Moretti, one of New York’s hottest DJs who spins some of her best sass for us.

(Alexandra Utzmann)

Name: Mia Moretti

Occupation: DJ

Neighborhood: East Village

Favorite Twitter account: @LenaDunham

Favorite place in NYC: The St. Mazie

Best response to this ridiculous hashtag: #ThingsNotToSayOnTheFirstDate #ITHINKILOVEYOU

Biggest NYC pet peeve: Soho

What competitive reality show would you win and why?: Supermarket Sweep. I can hit the supermarket like a mad man.

Where would you live if you didn’t live in NYC?: London

Popular song you are sick of/never liked: Any Chris Brown

Drink of choice: Jameson on the rocks

Best way to spot a tourist: With your eyes.

#crystalharris

Crystal Harris, of Playboy “fame”, has decided to become a DJ. Her qualifications? Playmate of the month, short-term fiance of Hugh Hefner, recently-back-together girlfriend of Hugh Hefner, owns and iPod. I am lucky enough to call a few DJs with actual musical talent my friends, but this whole DJing-as-a-profession-when-all-else-fails thing has got to stop.

Crystal, who famously became Hefner’s ‘runaway bride’ when she broke things off five days before the wedding, has no known qualifications for this job. She also suspiciously decided to “get back together” with Hugh right around the time she announced her new career plans (side note: what does getting back together with Hugh Hefner mean? Being penciled in to his sex schedule?)

Some might say she is qualified to be a DJ because she has released a single. I would beg to differ. Because using that logic, Dana Wilkey, Melissa Gorga, Countess LuAnn, Kim Zolciak, Paris Hilton, Rebecca Black, and  every other D-lister who thought it would be fun to record a song and had the money to do so would be a qualified DJ.

Photo via Twitter

I totally get her wanting to develop herself professionally. Good for her! But remember when she was posing nude and made herself famous that way? I’m pretty sure she should just stick to that. Or maybe go the other reality star route, which would be to make appearances at clubs and get paid ridiculous amounts of money just for showing up. That seems right up her alley. Also, it pains me to know that after having gone through so many years of life/blonde bimbos, Hugh Hefner does not realize how much Ms. Harris is using him for self-promotion.

If Crystal Harris is a DJ, then I am basically the editor-in-chief of Us Weekly.

-S