#metgala

The gloriousness that is the Met Gala just happened last night, with a punk theme that some people took way too far (see below for evidence from not-so-surprising suspects).

madonna miley

Mind you, the one on the right is the same person who was just voted #1 on Maxim’s Hot 100 list.

Anyways, aside from those uncomfortable “we-took-the-theme-a-little-bit-too-seriously” ensembles, there were plenty of other dramatic looks that we need to discuss. Let’s start off with a bang, a.k.a Nicole Richie’s hair:

nicole richie

I don’t know how I feel about this as an everyday look (JK I know exactly how I feel about it and my feelings are negative even though Nicole Richie is on my girl crush list), but a huge shout out to Nicole Richie for reminding the world that The Hunger Games exist and that the second movie is coming out later this year.

And how about the friendliest-seeming person on earth, Kristen Stewart?

kristen stewart

Girl looks like she just LOVES life, doesn’t she? It’s like they painted an even sturdier resting bitch face on top of her natural resting bitch face and the result is simply chilling.

OK, on to the next one…

stacy keibler

Although I have nothing against her, I’m always very confused when Stacy Keibler is at events. Especially when George Clooney isn’t standing right next to her. And  it was his birthday last night. So really, what was she doing here?

J. Law, my (fingers crossed) future BFF, looked stunning but also a little bit like she was going to the most chic funeral ever, so there’s that.

jennifer lawrence

There was also that time Kim Kardashian was in attendance even though Anna Wintour banned her from attending the same event last year. If they went through the trouble of letting her in this year, she could have at least tried to look nice. I guess it just wasn’t her night?

kimye

Seeing a picture of Kim at the Met Ball made choosing my least favorite attendee really hard, considering Ms. Katy Perry was there as well, looking as ridiculous as ever:

katy perry

And, just to end this note on a high perfect note…behold:

beyonce

-S

(Photos via eonline.com)

#kimkardashian

Ugh. Ick. I know. We don’t like her. But sometimes we just can’t avoid talking about her. I hate to start your morning this way but we must discuss Kim Kardashian’s pregnancy style/life status. Unless you are a cave dweller, you know that Kim is pregnant with Kanye’s baby. Side note: I can’t wait for them to try to Suri Cruise the shit out of that baby’s first photos but it’s not going to work because nobody likes Kimye. And their public approval rating is getting lower every day.

Anyways, It’s no secret that Kim has been getting all sorts of attention for her massive weight gain during this pregnancy. Like…Jessica Simpson levels of pregnancy attention. Except, unlike most other celebrities who build a protruding-belly-approved wardrobe, our (not so) little Kimmie is choosing to dress the same way she did before she had a human inside of her because she is insane.

OK, those pants probably would look fug on a skinny supermodel too…but that doesn’t invalidate my point that she obviously should not be wearing peplum pants well into her pregnancy.

I’m sorry– remember when she told everyone that Kanye threw out everything in her closet because he didn’t like her style? Where was he when she got dressed this day? Did she really think she could look good in this dress??! Don’t get me wrong- Kim has obviously had some great style moments…but I think this baby is making her delusional because I can’t imagine that she actually thinks this is a flattering look.

While I’m sure it’s harder to choose what to wear when you wake up and you’re super preggo, but there is a way to do it. Kristen Bell isn’t even smiling in this photo and is so much more preggo than Kim is right now and she still looks a million times better.

And just to drive the point home…here is Kim wearing a dress that can even make Zoe Saldana look bigger than she is. Seriously.

 

As much as I try not to let anything Kardashian related enter my mind, it’s hard to not be utterly perplexed by her fashion choices over the last couple of months. And while it’s obvious those rumors that she has already gained 65 pounds are untrue (but they could be in a month or two)…she is bigger than she was before she got pregnant. Naturally. It’s OK but she just needs to start dressing for it ASAP because her baby is going to resent her for all of this negative attention when it is older and understands the grave mistakes its’ mom made while she was carrying it. I just feel like nobody has told her yet that they make special clothes for pregnant women?

Also…I’m pretty sure even the weight gain is a PR move on her part. How else is she supposed to get a better weight loss endorsement deal than Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Hudson combined??!

-S

P.S.- I’ll give her this– she certainly has Amber Rose beat.

#peta

Yesterday, Buzzfeed asked the question: How Long Can Beyoncé Get Away With Wearing Fur And Snakeskin?

And today, I have the answer: for as long as she damn well pleases.

PETA is all up in Beyonce’s business over her penchant for fur and animal skins–most recently, regarding these custom PMK shoes made from a variety of expensive animal hides:

beyonce shoes

(via)

I need to reiterate that while I do not support wedge sneakers, that’s not the issue at hand. I should also note that Old Man Morrissey is himself in a kerfuffle and recently bashed Queen Bey during a concert. Naturally, I have to defend my girl, but let me just say that you could replace Beyonce with pretty much anyone else and I’d still be giving PETA the same much-needed advice.

 

Why PETA needs to calm down about Beyonce’s Shoes

 

I dunno, maybe let’s address some animals people care about

beyonce shoes

(via Daily Mail)

PMK pulled off some next level Frankensteinian shit to put these together. They also went for a the most random-ass assortment of animals I’ve heard of. Look, Beyonce’s not skinning baby chimps for a pair of hot pants. PETA, do you really expect the public to get worked up over the use of stingray and anaconda skin? ANACONDAS? Really? Whether or not we should be upset, I’m not sure that this is the card you should be playing to garner support.

 

Perspective is a good thing

beyonce shoes

(via)

You guys perhaps need to pick your battles a bit more wisely. There’s not now going to be some massive demand for ostrich shoes and iguana leotards just because Beyonce wore them. No normal person can even afford this stuff. Don’t you have more pressing issues to focus on? Like why this happened?

 

Stop knocking a bad bitch’s steeze

beyonce shoes

As far as I’m concerned, PETA, this is your number one goal as an organization. The only time we ever hear about them is when they’re slamming celebrities over what they wore. I know that going after famous people generates more publicity than actually doing something, but it’s getting old. As I said before, are high-end fur and animal skin products really the most important issues you have to tackle? If so, I strongly suggest you look into using your resources in a manner that actually enacts some change. Go adopt a pound full of puppies or maybe, I dunno, trying help humans for a change. Leave all the bad bitches and Kim Kardashian alone. Damn, can they live?

-K

#allstarweekend

The 2013 NBA All-Star Game fashion scene was certainly something to see. Seeing as how the dunk contest was largely embarrassing for all involved, I feel that the All-Star game fashion has become the best part of this illustrious weekend. During the actual game, everyone decided to wear what seemed like actual clown shoes. But who really cares about the game?

Carmelo Anthony All-Star game fashion

(via Jesse D. Garrabrant/NBAE/Getty Images)

First things first, we need to talk about Carmelo. I’m not really feeling this double-breasted jacket that looks like it doesn’t fit. I’m willing to overlook the fact that he’s dressed like a giant sailor, but the sunglasses. Those are a good look for some people, but Carmelo, you are not some people.

Dunk contest All-Star game fashion

(via Ronald Martinez/Getty Images North America)

The two princes (and one former prince) of OKC. Just look at that: A HOODED VEST. Bold choice, yo. A terrible choice–but bold nonetheless. Russell Westbrook looks very Russell Westbrook doesn’t he? Props to KD for having the balls to wear the exact same embellished t-shirt that every fashionable young woman was lusting after three years ago. What can I say? Oklahoma.

Drake All-Star game fashion

(via Scott Halleran/Getty Images)

Ah, my man Drake. I’m actually kind of feeling this. The pop of color is nice and red leather sweatpants (which proved to be the trend of the weekend) make more sense on Drake than perhaps anyone else. But that owl pendent has GOTS ta go and I’m saying this as someone who’s school mascot was an owl. Everyone is OVO that crap, Drizzy.

Lebron James All-Star game fashion

(via)

King Bron Bron. All I’ll say is that I have a very similar looking sweatshirt in my closet.

Lebron James All-Star game fashion

(via Ronald Martinez/Getty Images North America)

WHOA zoom out: Look at all the leather! Lebron is a monster of a human being. It must have taken an entire heard of cattle to create this outfit. This also bring me back to the leather sweatpant situation. If you weren’t wearing leather sweatpants at some point during this All-Star weekend, you weren’t shit. This trend, like sleeveless sweatshirts and brimless baseball caps, doesn’t actually make any practical sense. Plus, (and I know this isn’t a pretty picture) but these are big guys…who probably get hot…and start sweating…in their leather sweatpants. I’M JUST SAYIN.

Kevin Durant All-Star game fashion

(via Complex)

A quick close up of Russell wearing the ugliest print Louis Vuitton ever made. You don’t even see anyone carrying those bags anymore. But it’s Russell. Also, Allen Stone already beat you to those glasses, homie.

Dwayne Wade All-Star game fashion

(via Ronald Martinez/Getty Images North America)

My biggest takeaway from this image is that Nick Cannon is much taller than I thought and that his stylist is color blind. Chris Paul looks good, but he’s arguably the classiest member of the league so, par for the course. Dwayne doesn’t look bad–but he definitely doesn’t look good. This is what I imagine a pimp who longs for the heyday of the 80s would wear.

Swizz Beats All-Star game fashion

(via)

SWIZZ BEATS TAKE OFF THOSE STUPID HEADPHONES. What are you doing with those? You’re at a damn basketball game and they’re not even plugged into anything. Ugh and that hat. Swizz, you’re good and all, but you’re not “wear a piece of clothing with your own name emblazoned in giant letters” good.

Joakim Noah All-Star game fashion

(via)

OK JOAKIM. This is obviously an inappropriate look. If Jesus was born in 1985, this is what he would look like.

Craig Sager All-Star game fashion

(via)

Basically, this year’s All-Star fashion  situation proved to me that every player is slowly turning into Craig Sager. And I’m not really mad about it.

-K

#gold

Meet Datta Phuge of Pimpri-Chinchwad in India. Datta is thirty-two years old. Datta is a money lender. Datta recently commissioned 15 goldsmiths to make this shirt:

gold shirt

Datta made a bad decision.

Datta here spent $22,941 of presumably hard earned, legitimate currency for this gaudy, gaudy article of clothing. But don’t worry, Datta isn’t crazy. He also had cuffs, a belt, and some rings made with the leftover gold because RECYCLING, PEOPLE.

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Aside from being generally fugtrocious, my biggest qualms are that the shirt has a fabric base of white velvet (velvet is horrible) and six Swarovski crystal buttons. At this point, he couldn’t have just sprung for some real diamonds? But I dunno, maybe he was on a budget. Clearly these are tough times for Datta.

When asked why the hell he had this made, considering that he’s not a Liberace impersonator, Datta said:

“I know I am not the best looking man in the world but surely no woman could fail to be dazzled by this shirt?”

FAIL TO BE DAZZLED!

Datta actually isn’t bad looking–at least not to the the degree where he needs to distract women from his face. Doesn’t he know that that’s what the money is for? You don’t have to WEAR $20,000 for a woman to notice you–you just have to spend it on her. Duh. Datta, I’m guessing you’re still single, so hit a sister up because I’m kind of in the market for someone who’s unwise with their money. I’m on Twitter (@KaraRBrown)!

The best part of this is that Datta is making Trinidad James look like a damn fool.

d61cb18d-cae3-4253-9f1b-63738df2624a

(via Def Jam)

Gold on your chain? Gold on your ring? Gold on your watch? Those things are supposed to be made of gold. Datta’s got gold all on his Hanes, yo. Step to ‘em.

-K

[Daily Mail]

#burberry

David and Victoria Beckham’s second oldest son, Romeo, (of course) is featured in Burberry’s new Spring/Summer campaign, because isn’t nepotism fun?

So far, the campaign is comprised of a 34 second video (seven of which is of a black screen) that is supposedly “a bright and playful celebration of the collection.” Mmmhmm ok. Keep those two words in mind: Bright and playful.

0:03

Ok, what are you doing there, mannequin-people? People-mannequins. Just mannequins? Just people? WHAT ARE THESE THINGS SUPPOSED TO BE? These two are super creeptastic but I have to admit that homegirl’s lipstick is FIYA.

0:05

This individual is very well put-together. I can completely understand why a ten year-old embodies this aesthetic.

0:07

Seriously, what is going on here? What are they looking at? WHAT IS BRIGHT AND/OR PLAYFUL ABOUT THIS?

0:11

I was going to make a joke about this popped collar situation but then I remembered that I popped the color on my denim jacket the other day. Play on, Romeo.

0:12

Not going to say it.

0:13

Why are these weird mannequin people not scaring him? Is he going to stab them with that umbrella? Is this supposed to be an allegory for something? Is this a metaphor for the 1%? Actually since, they’re all in $1,200 trench coats, no metaphor is necessary.

0:16

Not feeling this shoe.

0:19

HE IS THE BEST DRESSED TEN YEAR OLD ON THE PLANET. What kind of a life is a sixth grader leading where he need to be dressed like this? Unless his name is Benjamin Button, I’m not buying it.

0:20

Is this making you want to buy a $1,200 trench coat for your child that is still three years away from puberty?

0:23

My main takeaway from this video is that Romeo is way cooler than me. And after this commercial, he definitely has more money than me. And nepotism is lame–but also very cool.

How do I sign up to be part of the Beckham family?

-K