Each week we take a look at some of Twitter’s most entertaining trending topics and provide some deep and meaningful insight. Or we just bitch about it.

February 23rd-March 1st

  • Janet Jackson

When: 2/25

Why: The singer announces that she got married last year

Shir: It’s quite a feat to be able to keep something like a marriage a secret for very long in Hollywood, so good for them for enjoying some time to themselves with this. She still is not any more relevant to my life than she was before, though.

Kara: Janet is kind of the queen of this, isn’t she? All I can say is, good for her. She’s by far the most sane member of that family and now she got wife’d up by a billionaire. I see you girl.

  • Dancing with the Stars

When: 2/26

Why: The contestants on the 16th season are announced

Shir: Lisa Vanderpump FTW. I have never seen this show and probably still won’t, but I’m excited to hear about one of the sassiest housewives ever doing her thang.

Kara: Someone really needs to explain to me how this show is still on the air. I mean, I love redundant reality shows how many times can one possibly watch a washed up TV soap opera star do the cha cha in a tacky outfit? I almost feel like I should start watching to try to understand…almost.

  • Perez Hilton

When: 2/27

Why: The blogger announces that he is a father

Shir: This would have been much more exciting news when I was a freshman in college. But good for him! And for the baby!

Kara: I can’t stand this guy. Who actually still reads his site? The same people watching Dancing With the Stars I’m willing to bet. Good luck to that mystery child.

  • Florida

When: 3/1

Why: A sinkhole in Florida swallows a house and one man 

Shir: Justttt where I grew up. I knew I left for a reason (sorry to all friends in FL).

Kara: JESUS HELL. THIS. This is a nightmare of nightmares. This does nothing to dissuade me from avoiding that state for as long as I possible can. Related: If you do anything with your life today, let it be following @FloridaMan on Twitter. You’re welcome.


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