#justinbieber

10 Reasons Why Justin Bieber and Rihanna Probably Didn’t Hook Up

Justin Bieber and Rihanna

(via)

A pesky little rumor has been making the rounds about two of Instagram’s music’s biggest stars. The story is that one Justin Bieber cheated on young Selena Gomez in February 2011 with Princess RiRi. The rumor is being pushed by Life & Style Magazine, known for their Pulitzer-Prize winning contributions to journalism.

I, of course, don’t believe this. I also don’t believe that the moon landing was faked and that our president was born in Kenya, because I generally conduct myself within a bubble of common sense. So, here is my very scientific breakdown of why Justin Bieber and Rihnna probably didn’t have an affair.

1) Justin isn’t Rihanna’s type

Hellooo do you remember who this woman has dated? Think about it: Chris Brown, Matt Kemp, maybe/probably Ashton Kutcher. She likes bad boys. Although, Ashton Kutcher is a completely different kind of bad than say, Chris Brown. Either way, pre-Boyfriend Justin Bieber was all about the nice boy image. He’d take your daughter bowling, kiss her on the cheek and ride his bike home and that would be a wild night. Rihanna doesn’t bowl.

2) The age difference would have been gross

Justin Bieber was SIXTEEN in February of 2011. Rihanna was twenty-three. In fact, according the article, their fling went down on February 20th, which was Rihanna’s birthday. Let’s just call this reason 2.5, but I don’t think homegirl would have wanted to celebrate her birthday with a guy who didn’t have a driver’s license.

3) Justin still had the long haircut

Justin Bieber and Rihanna

(via Noel Vasquez/Getty Images North America)

He wasn’t even swaggy yet.

4) There is no documentation

Now, I know they probably wouldn’t have been running around advertisting their infidelity, but we’re talking about the King and Queen of Selfies here. They wouldn’t have been able to help themselves one way or another.

5) The height difference

Currently, Justin Bieber is 5′ 7”. Let’s be generous and say that in 2011 he was 5′ 6”. Being a grown adult at that point, Rihanna stood 5′ 8” and the lady often rocks a fierce heel. Let’s also just loop the height difference in with the fact that most 23 year-old women are not physically attracted to 17 year-old boys. The ones that are, are probably in jail.

6) It’s being reported by Life & Style

This is the same publication that claimed to know that Kate Middleton is pregnant with twins and that Jessica Simpson actually lost all that baby weight.

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So, yeah.

7) Selena don’t play that game

Although their on and off-ness seems to be never ending  I have to hand it to homegirl–it sounded like she put her foot down when all that Victoria Secret model bullshit came to light. And everything thing I read about them says she’s the one who broke up with him. I feel strongly that she would not have let this shit fly–especially so early in the relationship. The girl has some self-respect. Although, to be fair, it is Rihanna.

8) I will be very, very disturbed if this is true

Obviously this is the most important reason.

9) Drake would have had him killed

Justin Bieber and Rihanna

(via)

We all know that after Aaliyah, Rihnna is Drake’s one true love who he also never really dated. There’s no way he would have let Rihanna be with any other baby-faced, light skinned, sensitive singer/rapper other than himself.

10) Bieblers would have figured it out

They’re like the KGB, these Bieblers. If this really did go down between Justin Bieber and Rihanna, they would have known about it because they are insane and know things about Justin that no one should ever know. Biebler confirmation or it didn’t happen.

-K

Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    Sooooo true.!!!!

  2. tia says:

    Rihanna aint like that.We all kno that her one true love is drake so face the facts that her makin out with Justin Bieber IS 100% NOT TRUE/FAKE

  3. Anonymous says:

    Exactly that’s all true

Trackbacks

  1. [...] Kara: Ah, the double host/performance trick. I’m pulling for my homie here. Have we ever really seen Justin act before? The one thing we all know is that if this goes even remotely well, we’ll be seeing  him in next summer’s answer to Battleship. Which, speaking of Rihanna… [...]