#trendingtopics

October 20th-October 26th

• Taylor Swift

When: 10/22

Why: The “country” singer releases her fourth album, Red

Shir: People were all hyped up about this album when it dropped, but what about that time that HER AND CONNOR KENNEDY BROKE UP??? That means this album is already outdated, because it is lacking a song about her most recent breakup. Which just means it’s not really a Taylor Swift album.

Kara: We all already know how I feel about this young lady. Besides being an embarrassment to feminism and anything resembling independence for women, she also makes crappy faux-country music. And that is not at all to say that country music bad. It’s that whatever amalgamation of pop/rock/country that this chick does is killing the genre. She’s basically the LMFAO of country music. Hope all of you who wasted your money on Red enjoy.

• iPad mini

When: 10/23

Why: Apple introduces the new iPad mini

Shir: Oh, you mean MY IPHONE? I love you, Apple, but c’mon. I already sold my soul to you a long time ago, so stop. 

Kara: The iPad basically got the iPod treatment: The design was changed but the actual product wasn’t made any better. Apple stans, as you continue to freak out over this product, please remember that you’re completely validating all those Samsung commercials making fun of you.

• Islanders

When: 10/24

Why: The New York hockey team will relocate from Long Island to Brooklyn

Shir: Isn’t hockey not even happening right now? Why does this matter? Someone please fill me in.

Kara: If they accomplish nothing else with this move, I think they need to change the name. Ok, so Long Island is technically an island, but calling a team that skates around on ice the Islanders is kind of misleading and delusional. It appears that our new friends will make their home at the Barclay’s Center. Should we get used to seeing Bey and Jay sitting rinkside (???) at these games? Will hip hop begin to embrace hockey? If anyone can do it, HOV can.

• Hurricane Sandy

When: 10/25

Why: Blah blah hurricane blah blah snow blah blah we’re all gonna die

Shir: If this turns into another “Hurricane” Irene situation in NYC, I’m going to flip. Not that I’m so proud of this, but I did live in Florida for nine years, so this shit does not faze me. If the subway shuts down again I’m literally going to scream, because I know it will be the most unnecessary thing in the world.

Kara: Shir nailed it. New Yorkers may be tough in a lot of ways but damn, do they become a bunch of babies in inclement weather. The worst part of this would be if it screws up Halloween. This is the first Halloween that I’ve been excited for  before in a long time and if the world doesn’t get to see my Rihanna costume, I am not going to be happy. Damn climate change.